For the years that I’ve been traveling, I’m receiving a lot of comments that I do it excessively (still not excessive for me). For people who see travel as a luxury of money, they see me as having a lot of it. For people who see travel as a luxury of time, they see me as having no corporate responsibility that I can wander constantly. For people who see travel as a vacation, they see my life as a whole vacation. For people who see travel as an adventurous thing (yes, it is) they see me as a free spirited, happy go lucky gal.
Sorry to disappoint those people but the truth is..
I don’t have a lot of money. I am struggling every month to budget the limited income I have just to live a somehow comfortable life in the city and to travel out of town on a weekend. It’s a struggle to sacrifice the material things I want just to have a lifetime experience. It’s cumbersome to wait for airline seat sale because I couldn’t afford the normal airfare. It’s a discomfort to stay in a cheap and dirty accommodation because it is costly to stay in a hotel. It’s a constant struggle to work hard until the middle of the night just to have an additional income that could somehow support an incurable disease of wanderlust. It’s a constant fight of envy to those people who drive their cars, dine in an expensive restaurant, and navigate their expensive gadgets just because I don’t have the resources to have those. I just choose to experience than to own things. And sometimes, an unforgettable experience comes with a price.
I don’t have that much time. I have to frantically pack my things when I go home coming from the office because I have to catch a bus on a midnight to be able to arrive at my destination early in the morning of the next day. It’s tiring to sleep on a bus just to maximize the weekend that I have. It’s tiring to go to the office on a Monday morning when I barely slept because I utilized my full Sunday on a faraway town. It’s tiring to do the household chores on a weekday because I spent my weekend lying on a beach or climbing a mountain. Traveling is a whole lot of fun, but the truth is, I don’t have the luxury of time and it is a tiring thing.
I’m not having a vacation. Most people see travel as a vacation. When you go to somewhere new and do great things that you don’t normally do on a daily basis, then you’re having great vacation. Will it still be a vacation if you do it regularly? It became a normal thing. I’m not having a vacation because it became a lifestyle, a habit and an identity. It wouldn’t be you if you will be separated from your true identity. And for this reason, I just want to be me.
I’m not a happy-go-lucky. I do have responsibilities that I take with me whenever I go out. I do think of it. I do plan for the next workweek. I do think of my corporate career. I do still think of the future career that will give me a balance life of comfort and nomadic life. I envy those who are on top of their career. I still dream to have both or to have everything, whether everything can be achieved or not lest, I still dream.
I’m not living a life worth envied for. Everything is just a choice. A passion is a choice and it will always be. I just choose to see the world and it comes with a sacrifice.